Unable to afford a plane ticket, he hitchhiked to the game, and got to
 his seat (way up in the nosebleed section) ready to watch his dream
 game. His seats really suck.  He's way in the middle of nowhere, and
 even has a pole in front of him that he has to lean sideways to see
 around, but at least he's there!

 He's scanning the crowd, and he sees that one seat, way down in the
 middle, only 5 rows off the 50-yard line is empty!  Gee's, how the
 heck could someone pay that much for a ticket and not show up!?!?

 This is driving the poor guy crazy, so he has to find out what's going
 on. During half-time, he runs down and makes it to the empty seat.
 It's a 2-person    box, and there is a guy in the other seat.
 He says, "Is that your seat?"
 The guy says, "yea, it's my wife's seat.  We come here together every
 year."

 He says, "Well, where is she?"

 The guy says, "She passed away..."

 So, he says "gee...  Sorry to hear that.  So, why'd you come alone?

 The guy says, "I couldn't get anyone to come with me."
 He says, "What?  Are you nuts?  You couldn't find a friend or brother
 or cousin, or ANYONE?!?!?!"

And the guy says "Nope.  They all wanted to go to the funeral."