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Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars
of soap in my bathroom
since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please
remove the six
unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine
chest and another
three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
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Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow,
Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out
of the shower soap dish
as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took
out of your way and put
on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should
change your mind.
This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which
my instructions from the
management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this
is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
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Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note
to her concerning
the little bars of soap. When I got back to my
room this evening I found
you had added 3 little Camay's to the shelf under
my medicine cabinet. I
am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks
and have brought my own
bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camay's
which are on the
shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing
teeth, etc. Please
remove them.
S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left
3 hotel soaps which
we are instructed by the management. I took the
6 soaps which were in
your way on the shelf and put them in the soap
dish where your Dial
was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for
your convenience. I
didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are
always placed inside
the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and
which you did not object
when you checked in last Monday. Please let me
know if I can of further
assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
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Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me
this morning that
you called him last evening and said you were unhappy
with your maid
service. I have assigned a new girl to your room.
I hope you will
accept my apologies for any past inconvenience.
If you have any future
complaints please contact me so I can give it my
personal attention.
Call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank
you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
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Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I
leave the hotel
for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before
5:30 or 6 PM. That's
the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You
were already off duty.
I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything
about those little bars
of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have
thought I was a new
check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of
hotel soap in my
medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery
of 3 bars on the
bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated
24 little bars
of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering
soap to
your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can
be of further assistance,
case call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM.
Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
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Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap
was taken from my
room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in
late last night and had
to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere
Bouquets.
S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen,
of your soap
problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap
in your room
since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars
of soap each time they
service a room. The situation will be rectified
immediately. Please
accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
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Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my
room? I came in
last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I
don't want 54 little bars
of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial.
Do you realize I
have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my
bath size Dial. Please
give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so
I had them moved.
Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your
soap was missing so
I personally returned them. The 24 Camay's which
had been taken and
the 3 Camay's you are supposed to receive daily.
I don't know anything
about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid,
Kathy, did not
know I had returned your soaps so she also brought
24 Camay's plus
the 3 daily Camay's. I don't know where you got
the idea this hotel
issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some
bath-size Ivory which I
left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
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Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my
latest soap
inventory. As of today I possess:
- On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay's
in 4 stacks of 4
and 1 stack of 2.
- On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay's in
2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack
of 3.
- On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet,
- 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay's in 2 stacks of 4.
- Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay's in 3
stacks of 4 and 1
stack of 2.
- In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay's, very moist.
- On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet,
slightly
used.
- On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camay's in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make
sure the
stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please
advise her that stacks
of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest
that my bedroom
window sill is not in use and will make an excellent
spot for future
soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased
another bar of
bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel
vault in order to avoid
further misunderstandings.
S. Berman