The Sex Doctor
 A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in
their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he
 could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave
  them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests
 and then concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you.
      "On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy  some
      grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you,
      sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in
     your wife's love canal. "Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her
     like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue".
 
    "Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across
the  room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his
love pole. "Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut."
      The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.
 
     They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the  good
      doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the
      case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the
      physical exams and the same battery of tests.
 
      Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will  not
      take your money". I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever  be.
I cannot help.
      "The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our
friends the Browns, now please, please help us."
 
     "Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the
office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of
cheerios..."