The general was confined to the military hospital
for treatment
of a minor malady.
For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of
himself, irritating
both staff and the other patients, demanding
attention and expecting
his every order to be followed immediately.
He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room,
his meals were too cold
or not served to suit his taste, the light needed
to be
adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities
interfered with his rest...
and on, and on.
One afternoon an orderly
entered the room. "Time to take your
temperature, General."
After growling at the orderly,
the general opened his mouth to
accept the thermometer.
"Sorry, General, but for
this test we need your temperature
from the other end."
A whole new barrage of verbal
abuse followed, but the orderly
was insistent that a rectal
temperature was what the test called for.
The general at last rolled
over, bared his rear, and allowed
the orderly to proceed.
The orderly then told the general, "Stay
exactly like that and don't move. I'll be back in
five minutes
to check up on you" and withdrew.
An hour later, the head
nurse entered the room, saw the general
with his bare rear in the air and gasped, "What's
going on here?"
"Haven't you ever seen someone
having their temperature taken?"
the general barked.
"Yes I have, General, but
with a daffodil?"